Not yet a woman

A little earlier this summer, I was lounging on my sofa watching TV when I felt a snap! under my shirt. Startled, I sat up in utter confusion. Because the snap felt a lot like my bra had just broken in the front. MY bra. The one that covers my very flat chest. A flat chest that apparently just BUSTED OUT OF ITS BRA.

Well, I thought, I’m finally turning into a woman.

So a few days later, I went to Victoria’s Secret.

ME (with unbridled pride in my new womanliness): Hello. I need a new bra. You see, I busted out of my old one.

SALESPERSON: Ah. I see. What size do you wear?

ME: 34B

SALESPERSON (eyeing my bust suspiciously): Ok, but it looks like you might need a bigger cup size.

ME (beaming): Wonderful. Well, I’ll show it to you when I’ve tried it on.


Standing in the fitting room, wearing one of the 34B bras.

ME: Well, here it is. What do you think?

SALESPERSON: Ah yes - you’re going to need a smaller cup. I’ll just bring around some A cups.


Nope, still not a woman.