Very Properly Giving the Finger to Academic Paper Writing

Because I hate it almost as much as I hate Victorian furniture.

And you can’t start sentences with words like “and.”

Or include incomplete sentences.

• Or use bullets even though I’m pretty sure most people in “the real world” prefer bullet points to ponderous prose when they are reading about a TOTALLY DRY topic

OR WRITE IN ALL CAPS WHEN YOU WANT TO EMPHASIZE SOMETHING.

And quotation marks aren’t used to add sarcasm to a “normal” word/phrase.

And you can’t use words-that-are-actually-a-bunch-of-words-strung-together.

Or insert extra periods even if that is the. only. way. to make your point.

Or throw in a shout out, even if it’s in parentheses (ex: BTW, Dr. Smith, that joke you told in class the other day about this? Totally LMAO!)

And BTW, UR definitely NOT allowed to use short hand like that either,

And using slang? Bloody hell no, y’all. Fo’ shizzle.

Blah, blah. BLAH.