Lotion Cocktail

This is my routine every morning when I get out of the shower:

First, I put on my Jergens shave minimizing lotion with soy protein. Next is the Coppertone Gradual Tan sunless tanner lotion. On some days, I follow that with Jergens Soft Shimmer lotion. Before I get dressed, I put on SPF 45 and then just before heading out the door, a spritz of perfume.

Every time it's time to restock one of the many lotions, I consider getting an additional lotion with alpha hydroxides or lactic acids. Or maybe some of the companion lotions to the perfumes I wear to layer under the actual perfume.

Just in time, I will stop myself and think, "Wait a minute. What am I thinking?" I'm certainly getting enough moisture. And let's face it, self tanners and SPF are not without their own fragrance...on top of the perfume...

I once read in a magazine about the need for a lotion which combines soy proteins, alpha hydroxides, SPF, and whatever else you could ever want. It is, evidently, scientifically impossible. Sigh....